A pattern I have seen a lot in he Influencer world is lack of self-confidence and self-worth. The internet is wreaking with people who put others down and troll under people’s platforms. It’s pretty sad how little life people have when it comes to the need to bring others down to lift themselves up.
We at Social Peach encourage you to love yourself first. In this business, that is key because the facts are that no matter how likeable you are you will eventually run into people who don’t like you. If you don’t have the foundation of love within yourself, social media will break your spirit and faith in your dreams.
Loving yourself is important, but the truth is, it isn’t always easy. The journey to self-love can be a hard one and everyone’s journey looks different. So, we wanted to share with you guys our journeys of self-love and what advice each social peach member would want all of our influencer friends to know!
Rikki- I grew up hating the way I looked. I was always smaller or less developed than my peers. I would get made fun of and while I pretended not to care, I was traumatized by a lot of the bullying that took place. The insecurities lasted until I was 18, long after bullying had stopped. People don’t realize how their behavior affects others long term. It was then that I started my self-love journey. I began to speak positive affirmations over myself and pray consistently to God, asking him to remind me that he doesn’t make mistakes. After awhile, I began to believe those affirmations and accept my flaws. Everyone has flaws, but your flaws do not define you. You’re beautiful. You’re courageous. You’re phenomenal. You’re capable of doing all of the things that you dream of doing. Don’t let ANYONE tell you different.
Deva: Self-confidence and self-worth is something I believe is achieved through practice just like with sports or hobbies. You have to practice the task daily in order to become better at it. It’s the same concept, you have to continuously tell your brain or remind yourself that you’re a truly incredible individual who’s capable of so much.
Now, it’s easier said than done to achieve a level of content with yourself. Being consumed with social media and influencers who have “perfect” bodies or lives can make it hard to be accepting of ourselves at times. We see ourselves constantly comparing if our physique or intellectual abilities are at par with what society deems as “perfect.” But who came up with this idea of perfect? If you look back at each decade, the idea of beauty changed every time. So, if you think about it, there really is no such thing as perfection. It’s merely an idea that’s planted in our brains to make us doubt who we are and what we should become. Perfection could never be attained because change is inevitable. Below is a video of women’s ideal body type throughout history!
How does one gain self-confidence and self-worth? Well, to start off, it’s 100% a CHOICE. You have to CHOOSE to put yourself first, you have to CHOOSE to believe and trust in yourself, and you have to CHOOSE to love yourself. You can’t expect to get to where you want to be if you don’t take the actions to get there. The brain is an incredibly complicated, unbelievable organ. What’s great about it though, is that it’s malleable. You have to train it daily to get to where you need to be mentally. It’s all a mental state, and it’s not always an easy journey.
An activity I would do when I fall back and struggle with self-confidence or self-worth is I would look at myself in the mirror and list 5 things I love about myself. I recommend everyone should do this, just to remind yourself of how unique and amazing you are. Self-confidence and worth is a work in progress but it’s not impossible. Remember, the more you practice self-care the closer you’ll be in accepting yourself.
Abayomi: Self-love, for me, has been one of the most difficult things to deal with. Not because I have immense hatred for myself or anything like that, but because I lived majority of my life being uncomfortable with myself and not realizing what self love actually feels like. Being able to identify the difference between caring for your basic needs and actually doing what’s best for yourself, the way that you would for someone you love, is a very different concepts and a very different feeling.
I have only recently really been getting into actual self love. The real deal. It’s taken me a couple years to really learn about myself and love myself the way that I am, but I couldn’t have done it alone. I am blessed to have many people in my life except me for who I am despite what I feel like my flaws are. And every time they show me that they appreciate me, a little voice in my head goes “well hey, maybe I’m not so bad after all.“
I consider myself to have several flaws, from being overweight to how loud and aggressive I can be at times; from how ‘weak’ I can be to how my mental illness affect the good things in my life. It has taken a lot of practice, a lot of breakdowns, and a lot of reassurance from the people that I love for me to start accepting these things instead of viewing them so negatively to the point where isolate myself from the very thing that I need: my community.
It’s a vicious cycle.
Luckily, I’m getting to the point where I can identify these things and train myself to do what’s best for my health. To care about myself in a way that has nothing to do with the way I look to people that put me in a box as an African-American female. Because I know the only ones who really matter don’t mind, and they love me for who I am. So I should love myself for who I am as well.
We hope that our stories and our thoughts help those of you out there who struggle know that you’re not alone. We all go through periods where self-love doesn’t come easy. What does your journey with self-love look like? Did any of our stories help? Comment below. We’d love to hear from you!!
A blog written by Rikki Parker, our Writer and Communications Executive.